GosuNoob Video Game Reviews
Goat Simulator 3 Review – Bleaterminator
Goat Simulator was released nine years ago and the world became neither better nor worse because of it. The game was hilarious, inexpensive, and offered stupid, physics-based fun. You got to play as a rampaging goat, racking up points in the suburban playground of destruction. Headbutting people, doing backflips and making impossible stunts, stumbling upon…
GosuNoob REVIEWS ARCHIVE
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Review – NeverEnding Story
This is the nineteenth installment in Call of Duty main series. I thought hard about the great opening I would begin this review with, and…
God of War Ragnarok Review – Filling the Big Shoes
How do you follow up on the almost-perfect game? God of War (2018) is a timeless masterpiece that won multiple GOTY awards; It moved mountains,…
Mount & Blade 2: Bannerlord Review – What is Best in Life?
While the Mongol general from Conan the Barbarian (1982) strongly feels that crushing your enemies tops having a fleet horse and wind in your hair,…
Victoria 3 Review – The Missing Link
From Crusader Kings to Stellaris, Paradox Interactive masterfully translated the long ages between (factual) early middle ages and (fictional) space-faring future into epic strategy games….
Vampire Survivors Review – Irresistible Banality
Of course, you know by now about Vampire Survivors. Everyone does, and they are pretty vocal about it. Even if you ignored relentless Twitch streaming…
Scorn Review – The Flesh is Weak
Scorn is a horror puzzle adventure inspired by the disturbingly glorious work of H.R. Giger and Zdzisław Beksiński. I had to google that second guy…
Marauders Preview – Exoplanetary Tarkov
Well-established hard-core extraction shooters like Escape from Tarkov and Hunt: Showdown are riddled with cheaters. It would be a severe understatement to say that they…
Master of Magic Preview – Ancient Inspiration
A whole year before Heroes of Might and Magic, one awesome game had set the gold standard for future turn-based fantasy strategies. Simtex’s Master of…
LEGO Brawls Review – Barebones Beatdown
LEGO Brawls was Apple Arcade exclusive since 2019, but now the game is available on consoles and PC. What was essentially a mobile freebie you…
Return to Monkey Island Review – Right in the Childhood
Perhaps you are familiar with so-called “Monke” memes? Diligent chroniclers from knowyourmeme.com state that “Return to Monke encompasses a series of memes closely associated with…
Sunday Gold Review – Maybe Bronze
How do you react to a splash screen proudly proclaiming that government funding assisted in the development of a video game? I feel an influx…
Disney Dreamlight Valley Preview – Shiny Happy People
One of the most popular games during the pandemic lockdowns of 2020/2021 was Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Nintendo Switch exclusive casual life sim. The game…
The Last of Us Part I Review – Timeless Masterpiece
It’s a well-known fact that the best games in every generation of consoles come out near the end of their life span. The Last of…
Saints Row Review – Generic Crime Sandbox
It has been eight years since Saints Row: Gat out of Hell, a stand-alone expansion for Saints Row IV. The world had massively changed since…
Thymesia Review – Bloodborne Lite
PC gamers: we want Bloodborne! Mom: we have Bloodborne at home. Bloodborne at home: They say that in capitalism, markets always correct themselves. PC audience…
Regiments Review – European Escalation
The eighties are universally regarded as an era of global prosperity, but few are aware that the world had few close existential calls during that…
Two Point Campus Review – Easy Does It
Two Point Campus is a goofy management sim made by a British studio that gave us Two Point Hospital. Calling it “sim” might be overstretching…
As Dusk Falls Review – Dog Day Afternoon
Like many one-trick ponies, branching path narrative adventures had a predictable commercial trajectory. They peaked in popularity in the middle of the last decade, primarily…
Stray Review – Cat outta Bag
If you aren’t a cockroach, Mel Gibson, or a cat, your chances of living through the apocalypse and surviving in the follow-up dystopia are slim….